No Spare-Time to Waste
I had breakfast with a friend yesterday. As we sat at my favorite diner, Spare-Time, sipping coffee and catching up, I was shocked to learn the extent of the parallel career paths we’ve been traveling the last 6 months—we’re both in a work midlife pickle.
In November, I made a career move. After being approached by a headhunter for what seemed like a great opportunity, I left a stable job with a stable company in a recession-resistant industry. I knew there was a risk, but the siren’s song of the opportunity to recruit on a national level and a fancy title was enough to persuade me to take the risk. I ignored several warning signs when vetting the company because I was excited at the prospect of traveling the country and recruiting in a new industry.
Jason and I carefully considered the lifestyle change, weighing the advantage of more cash with the challenges of travel and a long commute. I pushed through his reservations and only highlighted the advantages, one of which was a substantial sign-on bonus, because I was clouded by the perceived career advancement and validation I was worthy of a leadership role.
I knew I made a mistake the moment I gave my resignation to my boss. I walked away from the conversation feeling uneasy. I chalked it up to nerves and my ongoing issues with imposter syndrome.
My first day started with a 5:30am flight. With my brand new carry-on in tow, I sped through security and made my way to the gate to meet my boss for my first adventure. I love traveling and was pumped to visit Salt Lake City for the first time even if it was for business and I wouldn’t have time to sightsee.
Things went downhill from there. I hadn’t even been in the same city as my office but people were approaching me about requisitions that needed to be filled immediately with an expectation I should know exactly what was going on with 10+ executive level searches. The dysfunctional company culture and cut throat nature of my coworkers quickly became apparent.
I do not like to admit defeat, or more accurately admit when I’m wrong, so I suffered silently, knowing I had made a huge mistake. How was I going to figure a way out of this mess? My family was also suffering. I was traveling a ton. Most nights when I was in town, I was lucky to get home in time to tuck my boys in bed. Jason was frustrated with taking on the lion’s share of the household duties.
When it came time to get my sign-on bonus, I learned it was more of a retention bonus, requiring me to stay for an extended period of time or else I’d be required to return the bonus in its entirety. This bullshit bait-and-switch was a blessing that allowed me to save face and walk away from this train wreck without having to admit I had made a mistake.
Now that a few months have passed, I’m ready to admit I was wrong. My ego got the better of me. I thought I was something special with a salary amounting to twice what I had earned just three years prior—finally inching ahead of Jason—while climbing the proverbial corporate ladder. Pride often comes before a fall, but I had a cushioned landing and as I’m getting some distance from the corporate world, I’m learning more about what I want and what really matters.
I thought I was figuring out this career business. I’m learning how to be a storyteller through my work with BrandFlick while building a blog audience and having the time to really be present for my boys. A few days ago, I was speaking to a friend of mine from Do Good. Be Kind, Chris Kurtz, and I said to him, “For the first time in a very long time, I feel like I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”
Then something happened. I got a call about a Director of Talent Acquisition position with a Cincinnati-based company with a national presence. This position has a ridiculous salary, the ideal amount of travel (15%ish), a fast track to VP and working with a well-respected HR leader. A year ago, I would have given away my pickle flask just for the chance to interview for this position. Now I’m not so sure.
Meeting with my friend was helpful. We both want to continue to pursue things that interest us and allow for more time for our families, but we also know that the window of time that we are viable candidates for great positions is limited. We both want to relieve some of the financial burden our spouses are feeling but recognize that there is some benefit in forcing our families to prioritize our spending.
Above all, there is comfort in knowing I’m not the only one in a tough spot. We gave each other a fresh perspective and offered some unconventional suggestions for how to approach the offers we’ve received.
Guess I’ll just keep taking every day as it comes and have faith in knowing that if I work hard, eventually everything will fall into place.
I’d love to hear about your career challenges, woes and successes. Have you gone through a transition? Are you frustrated with your current situation? Any advice you can offer?
